February 19, 2013
"Going off Dreams" tomorrow is the last day of the free promotion through Amazon Kindle.
Here is the second chapter. I look forward to hearing your questions, comments, and concerns.
Chapter Two
Déjà Vu
The wind
blew my hair obstructing my view. I
reached up to pull my hair out of my face, closing my eyes, slowly breathed in…
I could smell the fire… there was the burnt smell which was nauseating. It wasn’t like the enjoyment of burnt wood,
or a campfire, or the fresh smell of cut grass… this smell was of burnt
chemicals… siding, drywall, and things being consumed by the fires.
When I opened my eyes there was a vehicular fire
I could see a few yards away, raging.
The smell of plastics from the tires burning reminded me of the smell of
drivers doing ‘burn-outs’ at the race tracks… the interior of the car was in smoldering
destruction. Blackened, dark hues that
was crispy, flaking and defeated.
There was a slight breeze that attracted me to a glorious
smell, one I did recognize immediately as that of the sweet smell of summer
rain upon the wind. The cool comfort of
a drop of rain graced my face. The rain
fell like a blessing.
I lifted my hands, I could feel the kiss of the
drops upon my skin and I closed my eyes and soaked in the gentleness. It was a tenderness that was surrounded by
desolation. Then the teasing drops gave way, the rain began to pour, as if the
heavens opened their flood gates.
I could feel the wetness on my skin, like someone
had dumped a huge bucket of water over my head.
The clothes that I had on were beginning to stick tightly to my body,
constrictive and unyielding.
Coordinating with the rain, coolness pressed upon me and combined with
the rain, a sudden chill presented itself and the feeling was intense as my
body responded with shuttering.
The fires recoiled in reluctant defeat, and I was
freezing – but the rain continued and quickly added to the quicksand that was
escaping from beneath the earth and consuming and claiming all that it could as
its own. I immediately thought of the
old movie ‘The Blob’, and was frightened.
As if it had read my mind, or sensed my feelings it stopped its
advancements; but my conscious pulled me elsewhere.
This house that was being forced into my
recognition, I couldn’t quite grasp the importance - but, considered the
shelter a welcoming option. I looked at
the other houses, all dark and seemingly abandoned. But this house, I recognized it only as the
house from my previous dreams… the light yellow siding and black shudders… and
a window lit… with light? Hhmm… that’s
different, in a town full of darkness, it was teasing me calling me further
toward its glow.
Quite curiously now, I took a step toward the
house. Something sparked, adrenaline
pumping… this time swirling my body around instinctively toward that lurking
feeling of someone behind me; glimpsing someone that plucked the corners of my
mind in recognition… as his hand touched my arm – again… I suddenly felt the jolt of electricity course through my
body and saw the sudden flash of brightness.
The familiarity of my
body being sucked back into reality and lying stiffly in bed, the flash of
light quickly adjusted to the darkness and coordinating with the storm that was
dancing outside. Again, it was taking some
time for me to feel my own body… I lay in bed and could see it was 3:45. I could manage my mind, and what I was
thinking was “What the fuck!”…
I’ve dreamt of dreams before, reoccurring; and
quite often déjà vu. But this was crazy,
these dreams felt so real. So many questions flooded my consciousness;
what happened, why was I standing where the lightning struck? Who was the guy? Why am I dreaming this?
As the storm died down and the sky lit up outside
my window, I looked out and couldn’t understand why I was dreaming this… the only logical thing I could think of
was how people say “dreams reflect what your subconscious is trying to tell
you”, but I could think of no immediate descriptive undertones of what it could
be presenting in my life… and as the feeling of pins and needles unlocked my
arms, I folded them around me and curled up in bed…
I had lain awake this time for quite a while,
reeling and thinking of what had happened.
I never even realized it, but quite un-purpose-fully I fell back to a
restful sleep – but only seconds before my alarm went off on my cell phone…
don’t you just hate that!
Time would pass, everyday life would continue on,
yet in the back of my mind the memory of the destruction, the complexity of
feelings, and the stranger… who was he? Every
once in a while I would awaken from a feeling of life being sucked out of me,
or freefalling and waking up with fright and the electricity pulsating
through-out my body… Life did provide distractions, but the dreams always seem
to stay rooted in the back of my mind.
Ordinary daily routines and activities have been
harder these past few years, there are times you hear that we’re in a
recession, other times it is referred to as a depression. I know one thing is for sure my economic
state is in a depression! You work for the mundane finances like
utilities, carp payments and insurances… which proved a vicious cycle. You needed to work to pay for these things,
and while the stress of life eats away your soul, you work – a slave to a
faulty system. We buy a car so that we
can drive to work, we have to have insurance and all of this is taken away from
the hard-earned pay check… the frustration is in the necessities. Then, to make extra money to be able to pay
for luxury things like food or going out with friends, you get a second
job. Meanwhile, the government feeds
their greed off of the citizens they have sworn to protect. However, only fueling their own political and
at times illegal agendas.
My tax bracket is defined as ‘living paycheck to
paycheck’, ‘bounced checks’, or even ‘overdraft account’. What little money I do make has to go to such
things as the electric and water bills.
Buying food is considered a luxury, the only upside to this is that if I
don’t have food then I can’t eat it, if you know what I mean. When I am hungry, a quick fix to the rumbling
tummy is to drink a lot of water… if I need something with taste (and have the
ingredients) tea is a great option. It
won’t last for too long, but it beats not being able to sleep because you’re
starving. When I can manage to have a
few cash backs, I might treat myself to a value meal.
Another great distraction to the hunger is to
keep busy, or at least I try to deceive myself into believing so. I work two jobs, so there isn’t a lot of
down-time for myself. The pay within the
educational field is bleak; I am low-man on the totem pole, so the pay is even
worse than bleak. But then again, I
don’t work with the students for the monetary benefits.
But time goes on... I would occasionally think of the person in
the dream. He seemed to be haunting my subconscious
now… it was a mystery, a lingering one… unanswered. Surely he could answer the questions that
were plaguing my mind.
I was wearing my old sneakers, my legs were dirty and I had little
scratches here and there, nothing recognizably serious; noticeable by wearing
green khaki shorts, stylish with pockets and quite dirty. Completing the ensemble I was also wearing a
fitted shirt, a light yellow color… all sticking to my skin, soaked.
I feel wet and cold to my core… The scene all
around me was as if time hadn’t passed at all.
I opened my mouth, and let the rain fall in… filling my mouth… it had
been painfully dry and needed to quench some thirst… however, it tasted dirty,
something wasn’t quite right…
I spat it out, and as it hit the ground, it added
to the rain and earth that started to conjure all around, something in my mind
reminded me of flash-floods and I turned towards the curious house, that had been
haunting me inside… wanting to dash and crash through the front door before
being stopped… I twirled around this time and struck my arms out – a flash
blinded me, and a crack loud and deafening stuffed my ears; I stepped back - my
eyes needed to adjust.
A man, lying on the
broken sidewalk…
He had landed on his
side and his face lay in the fallen rain.
I took a couple steps toward him as I reached out to try to turn him
over. I didn’t want him to drown, after
all he seemed familiar, but I couldn’t quite put my figure on how. It wasn’t easy work, but I managed to turn
him over.
I started to wipe the mud and muck off of his
face when he jolted awake!
His eyes curiously on me he placed his hands on
my arm… I could feel the electricity, raw energy – but this time I didn’t wake
from the dream.
There were no words. I helped him to his feet and he looked at me,
he definitely knew me and there was a kindness to his face.
I could feel something inside, it identified him
and I could tell there was more… a past maybe?
His hands remained on my arm.
The rain had plastered his hair to his head; his
hair was the color of something like dark hazelnuts, made darker from the
rain. His eyes were intense, and a
brilliant green and blue-hazel, they reminded me of the clovers that grew in my
parents yard; they weren’t big in size but they were expressive… it felt like
they were piercing through me, I could hardly look him in the eye.
He had a straight edged jaw; it looks as if he
hasn’t shaved in a day or two, but when he clenched his teeth together; the
outline of his jaw was striking.
As a nervous habit I used my fingers to place my
hair behind my ears, and felt a faint blush upon my cheeks.
Can he
tell that I was looking him over?
I couldn’t shake the feeling that I knew him from
somewhere. My eyes were entranced by his
presence. His piercing eyes were looking
at me in the same way.
We were definitely checking each other out… but
more importantly, he knew me… it wasn’t connecting yet, where I knew him from…
His nose was attractive and masculine… we were
standing in the rain…which started to slow in pace, now just a drizzle… but I
watched slight moisture gather and wash over his face – caress his lips… they
were a wonderful shade – this was all happening like if it was slow motion; I
watched the droplets of water collect and roll down, and kissed his lips – I
was thinking about being that rain and kissing those lips.
He released my arm the rain stopped… I seemed to
snap out of it… it was like a trance. I
wanted to ask him questions, but I couldn’t speak… I had a million things going
through my head… but I couldn’t form the words… there was a terrible feeling in
my throat; it felt raw like I had suddenly developed strep-throat! And I looked
at him, to see if he could speak… he moved his hands over his hair, wiping the
rain out of his face along with it… I think he was waiting for me to speak
first…
I was feeling dizzy, and he looked at me in shock,
his eyes so expressive it made my heart leap suddenly into the pit of my
stomach… I felt like I was waking up… he reached for me, and I heard him… he
seemed to be yelling, but it was like a whisper in my ears…
“Aether!”
Until the next time, or the next...
dream.
K.E.Nowinsky
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