Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Chapter Two

February 19, 2013
"Going off Dreams" tomorrow is the last day of the free promotion through Amazon Kindle.
Here is the second chapter.  I look forward to hearing your questions, comments, and concerns.

Chapter Two

Déjà Vu


The wind blew my hair obstructing my view.  I reached up to pull my hair out of my face, closing my eyes, slowly breathed in… I could smell the fire… there was the burnt smell which was nauseating.  It wasn’t like the enjoyment of burnt wood, or a campfire, or the fresh smell of cut grass… this smell was of burnt chemicals… siding, drywall, and things being consumed by the fires. 

When I opened my eyes there was a vehicular fire I could see a few yards away, raging.  The smell of plastics from the tires burning reminded me of the smell of drivers doing ‘burn-outs’ at the race tracks… the interior of the car was in smoldering destruction.  Blackened, dark hues that was crispy, flaking and defeated.

There was a slight breeze that attracted me to a glorious smell, one I did recognize immediately as that of the sweet smell of summer rain upon the wind.  The cool comfort of a drop of rain graced my face.  The rain fell like a blessing. 

I lifted my hands, I could feel the kiss of the drops upon my skin and I closed my eyes and soaked in the gentleness.  It was a tenderness that was surrounded by desolation. Then the teasing drops gave way, the rain began to pour, as if the heavens opened their flood gates. 

I could feel the wetness on my skin, like someone had dumped a huge bucket of water over my head.  The clothes that I had on were beginning to stick tightly to my body, constrictive and unyielding.  Coordinating with the rain, coolness pressed upon me and combined with the rain, a sudden chill presented itself and the feeling was intense as my body responded with shuttering.

The fires recoiled in reluctant defeat, and I was freezing – but the rain continued and quickly added to the quicksand that was escaping from beneath the earth and consuming and claiming all that it could as its own.  I immediately thought of the old movie ‘The Blob’, and was frightened.  As if it had read my mind, or sensed my feelings it stopped its advancements; but my conscious pulled me elsewhere. 

This house that was being forced into my recognition, I couldn’t quite grasp the importance - but, considered the shelter a welcoming option.  I looked at the other houses, all dark and seemingly abandoned.  But this house, I recognized it only as the house from my previous dreams… the light yellow siding and black shudders… and a window lit… with light? Hhmm… that’s different, in a town full of darkness, it was teasing me calling me further toward its glow.

Quite curiously now, I took a step toward the house.  Something sparked, adrenaline pumping… this time swirling my body around instinctively toward that lurking feeling of someone behind me; glimpsing someone that plucked the corners of my mind in recognition… as his hand touched my arm – again… I suddenly felt the jolt of electricity course through my body and saw the sudden flash of brightness.

            The familiarity of my body being sucked back into reality and lying stiffly in bed, the flash of light quickly adjusted to the darkness and coordinating with the storm that was dancing outside.  Again, it was taking some time for me to feel my own body… I lay in bed and could see it was 3:45.  I could manage my mind, and what I was thinking was “What the fuck!”…

I’ve dreamt of dreams before, reoccurring; and quite often déjà vu.  But this was crazy, these dreams felt so real.  So many questions flooded my consciousness; what happened, why was I standing where the lightning struck?  Who was the guy? Why am I dreaming this?

As the storm died down and the sky lit up outside my window, I looked out and couldn’t understand why I was dreaming this… the only logical thing I could think of was how people say “dreams reflect what your subconscious is trying to tell you”, but I could think of no immediate descriptive undertones of what it could be presenting in my life… and as the feeling of pins and needles unlocked my arms, I folded them around me and curled up in bed…

I had lain awake this time for quite a while, reeling and thinking of what had happened.  I never even realized it, but quite un-purpose-fully I fell back to a restful sleep – but only seconds before my alarm went off on my cell phone… don’t you just hate that! 


Time would pass, everyday life would continue on, yet in the back of my mind the memory of the destruction, the complexity of feelings, and the stranger… who was he?  Every once in a while I would awaken from a feeling of life being sucked out of me, or freefalling and waking up with fright and the electricity pulsating through-out my body… Life did provide distractions, but the dreams always seem to stay rooted in the back of my mind.

Ordinary daily routines and activities have been harder these past few years, there are times you hear that we’re in a recession, other times it is referred to as a depression.  I know one thing is for sure my economic state is in a depression!  You work for the mundane finances like utilities, carp payments and insurances… which proved a vicious cycle.  You needed to work to pay for these things, and while the stress of life eats away your soul, you work – a slave to a faulty system.  We buy a car so that we can drive to work, we have to have insurance and all of this is taken away from the hard-earned pay check… the frustration is in the necessities.  Then, to make extra money to be able to pay for luxury things like food or going out with friends, you get a second job.  Meanwhile, the government feeds their greed off of the citizens they have sworn to protect.  However, only fueling their own political and at times illegal agendas.

My tax bracket is defined as ‘living paycheck to paycheck’, ‘bounced checks’, or even ‘overdraft account’.  What little money I do make has to go to such things as the electric and water bills.  Buying food is considered a luxury, the only upside to this is that if I don’t have food then I can’t eat it, if you know what I mean.  When I am hungry, a quick fix to the rumbling tummy is to drink a lot of water… if I need something with taste (and have the ingredients) tea is a great option.  It won’t last for too long, but it beats not being able to sleep because you’re starving.  When I can manage to have a few cash backs, I might treat myself to a value meal.

Another great distraction to the hunger is to keep busy, or at least I try to deceive myself into believing so.  I work two jobs, so there isn’t a lot of down-time for myself.  The pay within the educational field is bleak; I am low-man on the totem pole, so the pay is even worse than bleak.  But then again, I don’t work with the students for the monetary benefits. 

But time goes on...  I would occasionally think of the person in the dream.  He seemed to be haunting my subconscious now… it was a mystery, a lingering one… unanswered.  Surely he could answer the questions that were plaguing my mind.


I was wearing my old sneakers, my legs were dirty and I had little scratches here and there, nothing recognizably serious; noticeable by wearing green khaki shorts, stylish with pockets and quite dirty.  Completing the ensemble I was also wearing a fitted shirt, a light yellow color… all sticking to my skin, soaked.

I feel wet and cold to my core… The scene all around me was as if time hadn’t passed at all.  I opened my mouth, and let the rain fall in… filling my mouth… it had been painfully dry and needed to quench some thirst… however, it tasted dirty, something wasn’t quite right…

I spat it out, and as it hit the ground, it added to the rain and earth that started to conjure all around, something in my mind reminded me of flash-floods and I turned towards the curious house, that had been haunting me inside… wanting to dash and crash through the front door before being stopped… I twirled around this time and struck my arms out – a flash blinded me, and a crack loud and deafening stuffed my ears; I stepped back - my eyes needed to adjust.

            A man, lying on the broken sidewalk…

            He had landed on his side and his face lay in the fallen rain.  I took a couple steps toward him as I reached out to try to turn him over.  I didn’t want him to drown, after all he seemed familiar, but I couldn’t quite put my figure on how.  It wasn’t easy work, but I managed to turn him over. 

I started to wipe the mud and muck off of his face when he jolted awake! 

His eyes curiously on me he placed his hands on my arm… I could feel the electricity, raw energy – but this time I didn’t wake from the dream.

There were no words.  I helped him to his feet and he looked at me, he definitely knew me and there was a kindness to his face. 

I could feel something inside, it identified him and I could tell there was more… a past maybe? 

His hands remained on my arm. 

The rain had plastered his hair to his head; his hair was the color of something like dark hazelnuts, made darker from the rain.  His eyes were intense, and a brilliant green and blue-hazel, they reminded me of the clovers that grew in my parents yard; they weren’t big in size but they were expressive… it felt like they were piercing through me, I could hardly look him in the eye. 

He had a straight edged jaw; it looks as if he hasn’t shaved in a day or two, but when he clenched his teeth together; the outline of his jaw was striking. 

As a nervous habit I used my fingers to place my hair behind my ears, and felt a faint blush upon my cheeks.

Can he tell that I was looking him over?

I couldn’t shake the feeling that I knew him from somewhere.  My eyes were entranced by his presence.  His piercing eyes were looking at me in the same way. 

We were definitely checking each other out… but more importantly, he knew me… it wasn’t connecting yet, where I knew him from…

His nose was attractive and masculine… we were standing in the rain…which started to slow in pace, now just a drizzle… but I watched slight moisture gather and wash over his face – caress his lips… they were a wonderful shade – this was all happening like if it was slow motion; I watched the droplets of water collect and roll down, and kissed his lips – I was thinking about being that rain and kissing those lips. 

He released my arm the rain stopped… I seemed to snap out of it… it was like a trance.  I wanted to ask him questions, but I couldn’t speak… I had a million things going through my head… but I couldn’t form the words… there was a terrible feeling in my throat; it felt raw like I had suddenly developed strep-throat! And I looked at him, to see if he could speak… he moved his hands over his hair, wiping the rain out of his face along with it… I think he was waiting for me to speak first…

I was feeling dizzy, and he looked at me in shock, his eyes so expressive it made my heart leap suddenly into the pit of my stomach… I felt like I was waking up… he reached for me, and I heard him… he seemed to be yelling, but it was like a whisper in my ears…


Until the next time, or the next... dream.